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Another Weird Dream

By the way I passed my mid-review which is awesome! No more stressin out :D

You know usually when I dream I always think there's some type of meaning to it but this one..idk

I was in a house on some tropical island and I was with a group of people. I can't remember if there was anyone there that I knew. We were all given a list that had the profiles of some girls and were said we'd be given a girl to date. So I looked through the list and found one I thought would be a pretty cool girl to date. Then the girls walked in and we were paired up, turned out we didn't have a choice as to which girl we were paired up with, we had to take what we got.

yea yea I know this dream is hella weird..

So I got paired up with some girl that looked asian but she might of been mixed with some hispanic or something like that. She was pretty though...we hungout for a little while and got to know each other, I don't know the exact details of what we talked about. All I knew was that she still had another boyfriend...?

Then I dropped my phone and the people of the house gave me a new one. I didn't like the way it looked but they gave me another one since I didn't like the first one they gave me.

No idea why that was in my dream or what it represented haha.

Anyways..so my "girlfriend" and I went out for a drive and it had just rained so the air was a little musty and hazey. We drove down some road and saw a bunch of different car accidents from the rain. The most memorable one though was a gold limo that some how ended up in a tree....yea...idk.

Then we went out to dinner and talked and stuff.

It was weird cuz eventually we were treating eachother like we'd been going out for a long time. Although I didn't really know anything about this girl...or even her name o.O

In my dream I actually felt like I liked her too and cared about her and stuff. I think she had felt the same way even though she was still with her boyfriend.

Eventually my dream changed over and I ended up at the doctors office and my doctor was asking me all these questions and I didn't have the answers to any of them.

I forget what happened after that cuz I woke up.

lol

The End! :D

TImes almost out...

I'm so screwed...

I have a portfolio review tomrrow at 5pm and I need 12 peices...I only have 7. I don't think I'll be able to pass with just 7 even if they're good and meet the standards my advisors are looking for.

If I fail the review then I fail my class that I've been working my ass off to make this magazine, which has been the only project we've had all quarter. I've spent so much time working on it that I've barely had time to work on other projects for my review.

On top of that I have to finish an animation for flash class and complete a website. I have till the 17th which I guess is enough time to finish it...if I don't finish one then I fail the class.

SHIT!

At this point I don't know what to do anymore...I just feel like everything is going down hill from here. I still have so much shit to do and I have less than 2 days to do it all.

I mean its not a bad thing to fail cus it just means I have to take the class over again but I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about the money issue. It cost shit tons of money to be in these classes and if I fail then that's just more money comin out of my parents pockets. I have yet to fail any class and I'd feel awful if I did. I'd feel even worse if I failed 2 classes...

I just don't get it...I feel like I've been working so much on stuff but at the same time I haven't gotten enough stuff completed.

These reviews are so frustrating and stressful...it just makes me hate art.

I'd seriously rather be in a gen. ed class writing a paper or studying for a final exam. I can't even describe how much work goes into just one project...it really shouldn't be that difficult but the teachers I have seem to make everyhting difficult.

I can't even explain what I want to right now...everything just feels like it's falling apart. I'm just so fuckin tired of this.

I don't mean for this to sound like a bitch fest but gaahh!

...everything i've done is going to be for nothing =_= ...why in the hell did I choose to go to this damn school...

Most Epik is the most High!

Love this group and blastin' this song! lol

Don`t be nervous Stay calm and ready
A time bomb is ticking and your heart is heavy
Close your eyes and open your minds
Let the butterflies in the pit of your stomach subside
This is life in the making
The roots of this will never be forsaken
But barriers were built for breaking
so keep moving it. Let your heart grip the beat
Driver`s seat, ride the rhythm and start losing it
Spotlights, bright lights and neon
Rays of energy pour from backdrops and beyond
Music hits you so hard you can`t blink or see on
a slave to the rhythm but still we'll reach freedom
Let it breathe, make it bang
light a fire on the stage like Hendrix in acid rain
Most Epik is the most High
That`s why I rep the flyest shit in the south side
Tukutz!

Weird Dream!

Ok so I felt like writing this dream out before I forget it lol

So I was on this plane and I didn't know where I was even going, just that I was going to some place cool and have some fun :D

I'm by myself at this point in the dream but i'll meet up with others later.

When the plane lands and I walk outside I see that we're in Korea!! :D wooo!!

Yea I skipped the whole Korean terminal and just ended up outside in this Korean city lol.

It wasn't all city like though. Well I guess it was but not like skyscraper kinda city. It looked a little run down but looots of people were everywhere. There was also lots of bright colors from the signs on all the different shops. It was pretty neat looking.

So I'm walkin around and then I meet up with Jeremy! He's all like "hey lets go hang out and see what the others are up to". We walk to this overhang where this guy was cooking some kinda food. I don't remember why but I had to leave for a moment to go do or get something. 

Next thing I know this dude pops out and starts to mug me! He was really scrappy lookin with messed up hair a thick 5 o'clock shadow, a green jacket and greyish colored pants. He had a gun in his hand and I was like oh shih! I dont wanna die! So I pulled out my wallet and all I had was a few American dollars and one Korean dollar. Even though I have no idea what Korean money looks like  <.<

I tried to explain to the guy it had a lot of money on it cuz I couldn't speak in Korean so I was just like "big money! lots of monies!" and I was stretching my arms out to show there was a large amount lol xD

The guy left and I was like damnit! I have no money! I need to cancel my card now before he spends all the money on it!

I was also freaking out cuz I hadn't paid my school bill yet and I really needed that money to pay it.

I remember calling my Dad to tell him and he was just like go to the bank and tell them to cancel it. So I walked around looking for a Chevy Chase Bank and I couldn't find one. Guess they don't have them in Korea...or at least in the Korea I dreamt of.

Oh yea Jeremy was back in the picture at this time helping me look for a bank.

So I couldn't find one and some how I ended up going to my brothers school and staying there for a little while. Jeremy was gone and I didn't get to see any of my other friends :(

Idk what happened after that.

I remember sliding down a slide on a playground and there was a spider web at the end and I ran into it. And this guy sitting near the slide goes "oh no my friends" in the most monotone voice possible hahaha. But I got up and the web sprung back up and all the baby spiders were fine..except the ones crawling on me that I had to brush off. 

Then I ended up on FB  and one of my friends had a picture up where she was at a protest and her sign just said "aldfjal" so I commented on it "a;dsl;vldcmn;ofidlsj". lol!

yea...i have weird dreams that don't make any sense =]

Words of a crazed drunk man

I dunno why but when I drink I can think a lot more clearly. I know it's not a good thing and I always regret doing so ( and i don't recommend it)...I just feel like I can get things off my mind a lot better. I always end up thinking about life and things of the past. Sure I could do that sober but nothing seems to make sense. My mind is just a lot more open. I'm not saying I do this often cuz sometimes I have a clear open mind when I'm just on the Metro or sitting around listening to music. Sometimes I just feel like I need it...like I need something to think clearer. If anyone knows a better way to do this please let me know lol. 

The down side of doing this is I always end up feeling really sad about certain things. Even when I'm sober I feel sad about certain things. Like what could've been had I said something...what could've been if I wasn't so afraid to speak up. What could be right now if I still wasn't afraid to say something about how I used to think or feel.

I'm always in search of some kind of release..alcohol is as far as I go though, no drugs.

It's really hard sometimes thinking about certain things. Like my head/heart literally ache at points of thinking too much. I want to cry at times but I hate crying. So I just hold eveything in and surpress all feelings. It's not a good thing but it's all I can do. 

Even now I can't express exactly what it is I'm talking about...maybe someone that reads this will understand..but I just can't think about it too much. It still hurts...a lot. 

Like a part of me inside is dying kind of hurting. Like I almost don't want to be alive kind of hurting..like I wish I had never met you hurting.

I feel like at some point everyone has felt the same way about someone. And everyone feels like no one will ever understand how they feel . And it's true..no one will ever understand how I feel. I'll never understand how others feel. We all have different feelings for someone and the hurt inside is never the same for anyone. But we can all cope with each other, release our feelings and talk to someone. Someone will be there for us no matter what. Even if they don't understand how it feels..they'll be there for us to tell us everything will be okay. Everything will subside and life will move on.

 Life may not move quickly..but it will move on.